Thursday February 16th

OK so, I've been STRESSED OUT! I was doing good there for a minute. Working out every three or four days (at the least). Body was shaping ( not losing) nicely LOL! But the past week so far I have not exercised at all. TEARS! The ridiculousness that has been my life over the past four days has been like WHOA! I have found myself putting everything WRONG in my mouth and then skipping meals. I'm sure my sugar levels have been all over the place. I now understand why its bad to starve yourself. I couldn't understand it while I was growing up. All I could understand was that I lost weight when I did it. Eating meant gaining, Starving meant control, and a smaller me. Oh well, now I'm just trying to get a grip if you will. I made sure I ate breakfast and lunch... now I make no guarantees about dinner. I will have to do a system check in a minute. But its not looking too good on the dinner front. If I feel a little hungry then I'll eat, but only if I feel a little hungry. Trying not to over or under eat as a way to self medicate. This is NOT easy, or fun.... I cant even really concentrate on a meal plan. But maybe since everything is so crazy right now that's exactly what I should do. Concentrate on the things I can control. Like what I put in my mouth. Yea, that's sounding good to me right. Cause I know I cant control the way people act that's for sure.