OK so, I'm sitting here feeling defeated. I possess no real gumption to get up do anything. I think setting dates for myself is like shooting myself in the foot. I know that I don't respond well to put downs. You know how someone (an idiot if you ask me) says that if they tell you negative things you're supposed to strive to prove them wrong? I don't work that way and never have. Actually I think only a small percentage of the world's population actually works that way. BUT "they" would like to believe that everyone fits into this category... NOT!
Sitting here right now, I'm knocking on my heaviest weight on the scale ever. I need to block everyone and everything out of my mind. I'm wondering if this blog could be toxic for me too? I don't know... But I leave Friday for my trip and as if right on schedule I'm PMS'ing like you wouldn't believe. My PMS isn't exactly bite your head off and snap at the world, although I do that sometimes. My PMS is more or less, depression, and darkness. I feel so defeated right now. Like its beyond me to make even the simplest things happen. I know that once I have a pep talk with myself, I can convince myself that its in my power to make this happen. I know that I am my BIGGEST cheerleader. And really I can only really depend on myself. This is all in my head, once I set my mind to it I can do it. So why cant I set my mind to it? Something's blocking me... I gotta figure out what that is and then delete it from my life. Oh agony! Sad times! I guess!
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